here's a good one

This Sunday the pastor was preaching on the "ought". As in what our lives "ought" to be, how God has so much more in store for us than we "ever asked or imagined". And how it is our job as well to make the most of opportunities we have now to be prepared for later.
He described it as think of two women chatting. One says: "I really need to start going to the gym. I met this really cute guy at the water cooler today". And the pastor said, this is why you need to focus on the ought and work on it now. It's too late - she's already met the guy.
Yes. He said it during the Sunday morning service.
Suddenly, I no longer feel bad about some of the jokes I've cracked during a service or analogies I've come up with... like the infamous rugby-sermon.
Though I still maintain, that had Paul known about rugby he would have definitely used it instead of "the body"...

But that's another story.